Thursday, October 28, 2010

weekend visit

My book of the weekend: "Philosophy: Who Needs It" by Ayn Rand. Those of you who have ever seen an interview on youtube or read one of Meg and Dia anywhere on the web, you have probably heard us talk about the pleasure we find in reading. Anywhere that "reading" is mentioned, you have probably heard me mention Ayn Rand. Anywhere and anytime I can I promote her work. So since this is my blog I'll do what I want. ha ha. Read Ayn Rand! I read this passage that I found particularly moving. You won't know what context it is in, so I'll write it here and explain later.:

First of all Ayn Rand wrote an article on the Alcoholics Anonymous' serenity prayer. If you haven't heard of this prayer let me enlighten you now. 

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference" 

Those are some of the most powerful combination of words I have ever heard.

This is the Ayn Rand excerpt:

"Unable to determine what they can or cannot change, some men attempt to "rewrite reality", i.e., to alter the nature of the metaphysically given. Some dream of a universe in which man experiences nothing but happiness-no pain, no frustration, no illness- and wonder why they lose the desire to improve their life on earth. Some feel that they would be brave, honest, ambitious in a world where everyone automatically shared these virtues- but not in the world as it is. Some dread the thought of eventual death-and never undertake the task of living."

I thought, my goodness, this is me. My old tour manager used to always say in anger " You Frampton girls can never accept reality the way it is!" He would say this after we wine about not being able to find a starbucks on an abandoned highway on tour. And now that I'm older, and I'm finally accumulating a very decent amount of hardships and sorrows (if I do say so myself) I'm angered that I can't have my perfect happy world, which is why I sometimes inappropriately long for my childhood again. (I am writing a song about this now by the way)

But if I can only accept that terrible things could happen... I might be unemployed, maybe my family will break up, maybe somebody I love, or even myself develops a serious illness tomorrow. This is real life you know? I can't be upset at myself for being irritated in traffic or for mouthing off to my band members in practice. No one is perfect. We aren't all robots. All of us emotional beings are flux in the universe and I have to accept that. I have to accept death, and even though I want to be immortal I've only got a finite time to live. 

We all have to accept all of it, the good and the bad, and not beat ourselves up when we can't find perfection. 

I even find myself in my current relationship becoming upset over things he did that weren't perfect and things that I might have said that were less the "princess dialogue" maybe even on the edge of hurtful, and I want our "honeymoon stage" back. I long for the beginning of the relationship, when this man was perfect in my eyes are there were no such problems as "who's going to pay for what meal" and who isn't "spending enough time" with who. I have longed for the beginning of the relationship just like I have longed for the beginning of my life, my childhood. 

But, while I have been down south, visiting my family, I saw my younger sister. (Not Dia, another one who is nine). I'm jealous of her little life every time I visit. She has school, and friends, and no responsibility. She is always bright and happy and incredibly intelligent. I want her life...usually. But finally I have come to the point where, after passing my little sis in the hall on my way outside to ruminate over my churning thoughts, I think to myself "No, I want my life. I want my life with all the problems, complexities, subtleties, mistakes. You know why?

 Because it's colorful.

Monday, October 25, 2010

You guys make me smile.

What insightful advice all of you had! One person mentioned their response on my last blog for being an "essay", but I loved the response. They all made me feel so much better. I'm having a very talented friend of mine revamp my blogsite. I'm very excited about that change coming up. Also, my latest jewelry piece will be up in the beginning of November. No, it's not the Chandler. But "Chandler" is involved in the design.

Did I mention Dia and I are visiting my mother right now. It's amazing to have someone cooking for me again. I just finished helping my little sister, who is in middle school, with her math homework. It really took me back to my school days. Also, I found out my sister is being a cheerleader and dressing up in my old cheerleader uniform. That's right! Im not ashamed to admit it.

There is something really strange about visiting the town that you grew up in. Some times I get a cozy feeling when I drive by my old high school or down the boulevard. Other times, it's super creepy and I'm praying I don't run into anyone I know at the grocery store.

Dia and I attempted to take some band photos of each of us today. We went out on this old farm, and it took about two minutes before we got busted for trespassing on "private property". She took a few photos of me posing on the stairs in our house, and standing near a book shelf. She's the only person I know, who could get behind a camera, snap a couple photos of me, and make my thighs look larger then my head. Needless to say... we will be hiring and paying for a professional photographer...again.

 We just have such a hard time with photographers. Pictures of us are part of the art. And noone captures our images so that they compliment our music. What a conundrum...

I wrote a song about "holding on to a dream". It's about finding your dream again, after life and adult responsibilities get in the way. I hate using the word "dream" in lyrics though. Too cheesy. Too overdone. I'll find something else.

Scatterbrained blog tonight guys. I apologize in advance. With the morning sun, I will rise again, and perhaps write something more engaging.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Winter is a comin!

It's getting a bit cold in Salt Lake City. Dia and I went to an excruciatingly difficult yoga practice the other day. I don't know if I feel like I'm getting the flu because I over-exerted myself or because of the weather. Regardless, I changed my sheets from summer sheets to winter sheets. I thought of my mother while I was changing them, always so motherly and so worried. She packed these super warm and cozy fleece sheets in my bag, along with a heating pad, last time I left her house. I have to say the colors complimented my blanket. I don't pay much attention to color coordinating my room anymore. I did when I first moved in, but once again I'm planning on uprooting myself back to my home town. I've had enough of "Red" my crazy roommate, although Tiffany from downstairs told me that the other day "Red left a nice note in the bathroom about giving her some copper colored bobby pins with a smiley face!" But still, I'm getting a little antsy being in the same place for a good amount of time.
I've been having a bit of health trouble recently. I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee, started going to yoga religiously and now I listen to "happy pop music" instead of talk radio. I don't think it's helping much. What do you guys do when you are down?

Last night all five of "Meg and Dia" were at the band house stuffing poster tubes with posters for our street team members to hang up in venues. It was terrible. You'd think my tiny Asian fingers would be pro at the task, but I couldn't even get one tube full of rolled up posters! Carlo was the master, until he spilled his glass of whiskey on about 12 or 13 of them. Oh well, guess he made up for them in speed. 

I'm going to my ex-boyfriends wedding tonight. It gets a little strange when you start getting to the age where all your friends are getting married. (And even a little more strange when the person you had dreams of matrimony is walking down the aisle with a cute little ethnic girl!) They do look adorable together, I have to admit. I love wedding cake though and seeing the "wedding kiss" and such HAPPY people. I think I really need it right now.

Also, I'm going to visit my mother tomorrow! Dia and I are going to go to this italian store called Tony Caputos to bring her some fine chocolates and raspberry honey. She deserves it. If anybody is a chocolate buff you must try "Patrick's Madagascar" chocolate.

I don't have any book suggestions at the moment. I've been reading a lot of non-fiction books about business. Boring! I know, I'm growing up. Yucky. However, Dia dropped a copy of Middlesex to me. I read the first chapter. It seems promising.

We recorded some youtube videos last night of us playing some music off of "It's Always Stormy in Tillamook" last night because, get this: Dia actually did her hair and got dressed because she was going on a date and she wanted to take advantage of the moment. Ha ha. What a character!

Well, right now I'm going to the SLC library to play around in its' gorgeous glass walls and find me some interesting reads for tour!