Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tick Tock


Like Captain Hook, the ticking of a clock drives me insane. After I started up "Chandler the Robot", my mom gave me a two-foot tall,gorgeous robot clock. Don't ask me where she finds these things. I was happy to have it displayed in my room on my dresser, silently adding charm to my daily surroundings. The first day I came home from our last college show, as I turned off the lights, I realized my perfect silence was disturbed by this mysterious "tick, tick, ticking" in my room. Along with cleaning my sheets and vacuuming, my meticulous mother placed batteries in the back of my giant robot friend. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so instead of taking the batteries out (she would notice if I did this. Nothing misses "the eye of mom"), I began placing my robot clock out in the hallway each night before I slept, and routinely returning him to his faithful position atop my dresser each morning before I began the "brushing of the teeth" routine.
     I don't need to be reminded that each second is going, going, gone. One of the first things I realized after I turned twenty two, and my entire year of partying after being legal had passed, was the world isn't going to wait for me to get in gear. My goodness, doesn't anyone ever get a little afraid about how quickly the days do go by. I'm starting to sound like my father, geeze.
     Lately, I've become a little disheartened. I'm sorry to admit this in my blog. I know, being in a band, we are supposed to always be cheerful and somehow immune. My life's events have recently been changed around. "Life Plans" are like those alphabet magnets that you hang on your fridge. Sure, you can spell anything you want in those bright colorful letters. You can make that plastic mean anything...and then the dumb kid from around the block waltzes in your house and spells out "fart". You know?
     Your twenties aren't static. I think the trouble lies in being enthralled at the constant change of your early twenties, loving the unknown, the excitement, the adventure. I think once you pass 25 you think. Woah, hold on! I kind of like this stop on the train. Can't we stay here a bit longer, sip a cup of coffee, have a conversation with the locals?
Change is a natural part of hectic life. I know I won't stand a chance if I can't get onboard the changes, and not dwell on how life was "supposed to go" for too long. 

I guess I was really excited to go on that last tour. We were staying in Salt Lake practicing, preparing, and then...changes. It's not so much the fact that we won't be able to play music together for awhile more, or that now we won't be able to play "gas station tag".  It's not that. It's just...my future was set one way, and now it's not. It's just unsettling that's all, like a little glitch in the vortex, like a little fright, a spook if you will.

But, if I hadn't stayed home, I wouldn't have been able to exchange made up languages with my little sister on the way home from her Middle School. I never would have had a very rare, bonding conversation with my parents, in a cheap buffet, about how simple life really could and should be. I wouldn't have been able to be reading in my room, listening to my little sisters in the next room listening to really really bad Meg and Dia demos over and over and over again. Thank god for the changes.

Moving to Austin is another curve ball. I was planning on staying home for awhile longer. I was hoping to save money and be a responsible adult, but now I'm moving back to my huge crush of a city: Austin.

Changes, changes. Embrace them. They can hold you up if you let them.


18 comments:

  1. never been to austin..is it that great of a city?

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  2. I've been feeling kinda the same way lately... haha. Except that being 16, I'm just worrying about my future in a couple of years. All this pressure to know what courses to take, what schools to apply to...
    Ha. I wanted to go to school in the states, but then I have to take SAT's and I've pretty much missed the deadline for that.
    But I guess I'm lucky that I've still got lots of time to work things out in?
    I'm still at the point where moving out and running away to the US sounds like an exciting plan. Change is good, I think.

    I'm extra-looking forward to the March tour, so you know... fingers crossed that none of that gets cancelled.
    My spring break is going to be a mash up of Disneyland and lots of MaD shows. I'm a bit too excited.

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  3. I swear, when you write a book, I'll be the first one to buy it. I felt that..

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  4. Maybe I'm just really emotional right now, but your writing really moved me. I can't just sit here waiting for this to pass. I need to get up and move it. Thank you, Meg.

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  5. I understand what you're saying so well. But I've found that unexpected change--even unwanted change--always tends to come with some sort of coincidental perk... a reason, or several, for why one thing happened in the place of another. The point is to just accept the curve ball and make something new and possibly ever better happen.
    Oh and I also cannot stand the ticking of clocks while I'm trying to sleep. You make me so curious to visit Austin as well. Love your blogs and can't wait to see you guys in Vegas. :)

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  6. I thought that I was the only one going through changes! It's nice to know I'm not the only one! Meg, you're very inspirational!

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  7. The sound of a clock ticking calms me. That's how life should be, enjoy it and try not to worry too much.

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  8. If you're a light sleeper, I understand what it's like. However I can fall into a deep sleep from time to time, but with most days eight hours are enough for me. I’m an early bird.

    Your bedtime ritual with the robo-clock is childish yet cute. Everyone has an inner-child no matter what age, and the quality is definitely a plus. Meg, even though you are silly, you are absolutely a responsible adult as well. Music, jewelry, orders, and a bunch of other things are among the list of responsibilities. Saving money is a part of being responsible, but knowing when to spend it is being responsible too!

    As for changes, what is there to say? Some people hate them whereas some others accept them. Change is good in my opinion. Sometimes changes may be difficult to cope with, but change is the feature which makes people stronger and more able to adapt to the next. By contrast, having a level of regularity is great too because it provides a sense of safety and familiarity. Think of yesterday, prepare for tomorrow, but worry about today.

    P.S. This post reminds me of a song by Brooke White and I’m not exactly sure why. It is just one of the first things that came to mind after reading everything. Here is a link if you’d like to listen http://tinyurl.com/c34rk4

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  9. Meg, you make being an adult seem so scary, yet exciting at the same time. You're the captain of your own ship.

    I'm in that awkward limbo state of ages 18-21. Being a kid in college, I'm still wondering if this is where I'm meant to be or where I should be. You've really change my outlook on life. Am I just waiting around for someone to tell me to do what I love versus what's practical and responsible? It's a never-ending battle. What keeps me going is knowing that I have the greatest friends in the world, and my family will always love me. It's comforting to know that as much as my life will change, I can always come back home.

    Enjoy Austin and see you on tour!

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  10. Just listening to Fair by Remy Zero and thought it would be cool to see you, Dia and the band do a cover version of this song.

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  11. Kyle: Austin speaks for itself. Just visit trust me! Although, sometimes we are drawn to a certain place because of events that happened there, or the effects it had on us because we were in a certain time of our lives. Guess, I don't know which it is, but it doesn't really matter. I love it just the same.

    Emilie: Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth! I hope you enjoy it. Playing at the House of Blues there is my favorite place to play. The U.S. is fun. I think you would really learn and experience a lot here, but ultimately of course, the choice is yours, and you'll know what to do when you get there.

    Ryan: Very good advice about the clock. I need to learn from you and my best friend that I need to be more calm!

    Kenny: thanks for that song and your lovely thoughts. I'll give it a listen.

    Valerie: Don't be scared of adulthood! I hope I'm not giving that impression. Although, some things are scary, just like some things are beautiful, some things are chaotic, and some things are peaceful. It just takes having the character to deal with everything and letting experiences help you grow (something I'm working on at the moment)

    To everyone: really, what the heck do I know! These are just my hair-brained thoughts. Thanks so much for your comments. I love reading them!

    -Meg

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  12. I forgot to ask earlier, but could you put up a photo of the robot clock?

    The image I currently have resembles a ginormous, tall, bronze, and clunky clock with mostly unmovable body parts.

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  13. Haha if that isn't the cutest clock I have ever seen!
    It definitely reminds me of your jewelry. Kudos to your mother for such a nice find!

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  14. My goodness, was my prediction almost spot on or what?! I'd like to believe it was anyhow.

    What if your robot clock could come alive and bounce around like the pixar lamp and convey emotions or thoughts =D

    Thanks for uploading the picture.

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  15. Meg you should make a piece of jewelry designed on the clock. Atleast it won't drive you insane with it's ticking this way. Enjoy your day.

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  16. So was that robot clock the inspiration for Ross the Robot?

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  17. Nope, Ross was way before. This clock is just a reminder that my mother loves me:)

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  18. I hear ya, Meg. I'm 24 and have trying not to freak out that I'm becoming an old geezer and am roughly 2 years behind where I want to be career wise; but we just gotta roll with the punches and kick life in the junk every day!!! STAND UP IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY! SLAY THE DRAGON! You should make some sort of Chandler riding a dragon piece, btw.

    -Your Friendly Neighborhood Steve

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