Artists are introverts. Have you ever heard anyone say that? When I'm not doing my artsy fartsy crafts or creating music, (both activities I do alone) the person I spend the most time with is Nick, of course. I can be extremely open and talk for hours with a person I'm comfortable with, but I've never been that girl that openly expresses herself in social gatherings with confidence and a sparkle in her eye. (I've always envied her though.)
So, whenever I have been forced to co-mingle with other humans, I've always been a little hesitant and have never warmed up to the idea. I like to be on my own. Strong. Independent. Well…I've hidden my insecurities behind those fierce words, when in reality I think the real cause is…I'm a little scared.
In yoga class, Mr. K. decided he wanted to dive more into "partner" poses. Nooooo! was my immediate reaction in my head. I peeked to my left and found a man with much more muscle mass than I, so naturally I went with the girl on my right. We muttered some quiet and rushed introductions, and then I grasped her hand (a stranger's hand mind you!) and began to twist my shoulders into position. How incredibly uncomfortable it was that first time!
I love Mr. K.'s class, so I didn't let his new found love for "partner" poses frighten me away from going. We were three quarters of the way into yoga class, and I could tell that he was about to tell us to "partner up" for the next yoga pose. For some reason I decided to just get over my anxieties about "new people". I thought "We are all here for about the same reasons. We want the same things. She's not going to bite!" I shook her hand a little stronger than the last time, remembered her name as I positioned myself into downward dog with my mat pulled up against the wall. She grabbed onto an ankle and aided my flight into a handstand.
I think I had an epiphany there (funny how these always seem to happen during yoga class) that we are all here to help each other. No one is really "better" or "worse" than anyone else, and we can learn from each other. Fancy that!
I carried that lesson into band practice. Jonathan, the bass player for "Meg and Dia" and "Dia Frampton", is staying at our manager's house along with Nick and myself. We've been hanging out with each other more than usual. We don't just talk about our stage costumes that we still have yet to coordinate, or how we are going to manage guitar change-overs from "Good Boy" into our cover song. We talk about crazy things to share with another person. Topics that make one vulnerable, like losing love or feeling afraid because of a new, scary medical condition. All those funny parts of life that we usually keep private.
"Opening" up feels fantastic and freeing. I'm not going to spill my guts to the next person I meet at a party, but I am going to be more accepting and open to meeting and understanding new people, and also getting to know people better who are already in my life.
I hope everyone has an incredible new year! What are your resolutions? I'd love to hear.