Monday, May 11, 2015

You can't pay to have this much fun!

I participated in another band's rehearsal earlier this year. Since I didn't write the songs, I took special care to prepare and focused diligently on my parts. During the first song, the singer stopped singing half way through and erupted into a fit of laughter and ninja moves. She twirled and bounced around behind the microphone, and gave up remembering the words to the rest of the song. 

She said afterwords, "I'm sorry, I lost myself. You just can't pay to have this much fun!"

I'm taking a small break from recording to write this blog. I've just finished a chorus that I hope will make you all dance when you hear it. After I listened to it for the thirteenth time, I took my headphones off, and placed them on my work desk. My friend's words popped into my mind. "You can't pay to have this much fun!"

An ice cream cone, a massage, a roller coaster ride, they all come close, but all these experiences will never be as fun as writing and playing music is to me. And because I have found this source of pure joy, I count myself one of the lucky ones…

Somehow, mysterious forces came together in my life and gave me just the right amount of courage for me to put a song up online three days ago. It's strange, after being on a major record label and recording in some of the most expensive and high end recording studios in the country, I'm back to recording songs in my bedroom. You can see why this would be intimidating, right? It makes me ask the sort of questions that I talked about during the recent "Speak Up" tour I did with Jess Bowen. Questions like:

Am I enough? Is this good enough?

And I think for a really long time, I was scared. But eventually doubt turned into curiosity, and curiosity turned into action. Somehow, after years of questioning, wise words from authors and artists, and support from loved ones, I realized truths that I knew all along: that art is subjective. Some people will like it. Some people won't. I've just got to make what I like, and it will make some people happy. It's never going to be perfect. I'm never going to feel ready, so just put it out there. And it IS good enough for me. 

Isn't it funny how we already know everything we need to know in order to get started filling up our lives?

About two weeks ago, I was having one of those blue "Eeyore" mornings, and I didn't want to let it get the best of me. I texted my younger sisters to give me some song recommendations. (I'm pretty much set in my ways, listening to Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard, so I go to the teenagers in my family to hear what's new.) They live about three states away from me.

This was our text message conversation:

Me: Favorite happy song that makes you wanna dace. Go!
Misty: Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders
Me: Thank you *smiley face emoticon*
Misty: Why do you ask?
Me: Cuz I wanna feel happy and dance!
Misty: YEAAHHH!!!!
Jade: Misty and I are listening to the same music…
Me: Ooooh yeah! This is good stuff!!!
Misty: I wish I could dance with you. *emoticon with streaming tears*
Me: Me too. Just dance right now! We're still dancing together, just far apart…

And then they sent me this video:

Misty: Sorry if this give you motion sickness, but we're dancing with you!!
Meg: Awe I'm smiling so big right now!

A good mentor of mine told me, " Always know your 'why' ". I always know, clear as day, that my "why" for making music is because sometimes people just want to be happy and dance.


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